Selfcare Emergency Meter: Preparatory Measures
Time Commitment: ~5 min.
Let's think a moment about our current selfcare strategies (like I ever stop thinking about them!). For example, when you come home from a long day's work, or when you are stressed about a conversation you had with a loved one, what do you do? Sometimes there is a favorite TV show or a bubble bath in order. Or a nap. Or writing in a journal. Or eating delicious food. In this post, I want you to notice what you do, and what it does for YOU!
Procedure: This technique, similar to the Venus Flytrap post, is an ongoing process that invites awareness. I will give examples, then you can start identifying your own.
Sometimes when I'm stressed I ________ for Selfcare:
*Watch a movie.
What is my intention?
1. Bring my spirits up, meanwhile gaining space from and perspective on the stressor
OR
2. Zone out and avoid the stressor
In this example, both intentions are possible at different times, with different stressors. Neither is the "right" answer. Just notice what the intention is and do not judge it. Use awareness (again, not judgment) around using intention #2 too much, because it may actually be increasing your stress levels when used all the time.
*Take a nap.
What is my intention?
1. Get some rest so I can start anew.
OR
2. Block the feelings the stress is creating.
As with the last example, both intentions are completely valid, and I definitely take naps for both reasons. This exercise is about awareness though. Within myself, I notice when I use intention #2 often, I get kind of zombie-like and disconnected from the world. And sometimes, I just get sad! Having an intention to "block the feelings" does not always mean feelings are successfully blocked.
*Clean my house.
What is my intention?
1. Create space and organization, so I can face my stressors.
OR
2. Procrastinate from facing my stressors by being way more detail-oriented than usual.
You might be noticing a trend in these examples and intentions. All of these are authentic examples from my everyday life. I like to take note of my intentions because they can really affect the quality of stress relief I gain from my selfcare methods. And it's good to know!
Why this is wonderful: This is another post that is helpful for cultivating awareness. Awareness is key for quality selfcare! Something that works for someone else, may not always work in the same way for you. Know your selfcare and know your SELF :)
Selfcare Emergency Meter: Pick Me Up
Time Commitment: varies, can be done while multi-tasking
So I have been dealing with the most unspeakable of all emotions lately--ANGER! Grr! Usually when I am angry, I suppress it. Not healthy! Suppressing anger just pushes me to EXPLODE at things that might seem insignificant to most--but it's the darn straw that broke the camel's back. But, as I said-- Not healthy! Recently, I have been experimenting with not suppressing my anger. I have been looking in its face and examining it. I have discovered that part of my own anger is cultivated by my own negative automatic thoughts. Hence, this wonderful blog post.
Procedure: This technique is an ongoing process. You will start with a "baby" mental Venus Flytrap, and eventually it will grow to a large and powerful Venus Flytrap that few negative automatic thoughts will get past. I will instruct you as to how to get this baby growin! First, notice when you are feeling an angry (or sad) emotion. Anger and sadness are actually closely related; usually there is some sadness buried under anger. Anyway, notice the emotion and acknowledge it. Think or say aloud (very specifically): I am angry (or sad). This may sound super simple, but it isn't all the time. Many times, I do not like to admit that I have emotions, that maybe admitting them would make me weak. Ultimately, everyone has a full range of emotions. They just do. And acknowledging them helps one to understand them, instead of just acting crazy without knowing why. :) Ok, next, sit with that emotion. Sitting with the emotion involves noticing what thoughts and memories automatically pop up when acknowledging the emotion. Some of my negative (not all the thoughts that pop up are negative) automatic thoughts when I am angry are: I am overreacting. I shouldn't care. I'm being stupid. Rarararara, and so on and so on. There are tons of these thoughts. With noticing these, you are exercising your Venus Flytrap and catch these thoughts. Catching the thoughts allows you to see the choice in accepting them as truth (and defining yourself with that thought...) or reevaluating the situation. For example: I am overreacting. Ask, "Well, am I overreacting??" Usually I find that actually my anger is valid, my feelings were hurt in this way or that, or the situation on the surface tapped into a deeper pattern of situations, and it is okay for me to be angry.
Why this is wonderful: Well, this is an internal process and actually doesn't involve external senses. BUT, it is fantastic because you are cultivating AWARENESS. And creating a new mental friend at the same time :) Allies within ourselves can be hard to come by at times, what with all of our self-consciousness and self-judgment--this little friend supports us in our sanity by giving perspective and compassion to those critical pieces of ourselves, which, in turn, helps us keep it together! (This is a good thing...)
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