Note to future self

Selfcare Emergency Meter: Preparatory Measures
Time Commitment: 15-30 minutes

Unfolding and unfolding and unfolding, with colored pencils, March 2013

Life transitions are hard.  That seems to be the main theme popping up in my life lately.  Endings and beginnings...  I will complete my master's degree in two months, bringing my formal student career to an end.  Twenty of my (nearly) 25 years of life have been spent as a student.  This transition is a big deal.  It's filled with excitement and sadness, and everything in between.  Creation of a note to my future self is something I have done to respect these conflicting emotions and help integrate the experience for myself.

Procedure:  For my "note," I actually created a card.  Who doesn't like to receive hand-made cards??  I used watercolor paper because I did not have cardstock on hand, and I created a pleasing collage on the front.  I already had pictures that I pre-cut from a variety of magazines, and I chose a combination of pictures that seemed to represent my step into the unknown when I graduate.

*Keep in mind, this note is for you to open in the future.  More on this later.

On the inside of the card, I thought about what I will have accomplished once I graduate (think about goals you plan to achieve, where you hope to be in your life when you open your card in the future).  I inscribed a note with the underlying meaning of: "you've made it, now you're on to other things that will be great" and "the past has been important, but now you will have the opportunity to reach a higher potential."  The note should be encouraging, supportive, and honest.  Really.  Don't try to B.S. yourself. :)  I also tried to avoid concrete predictions like, "I know you have the best job ever now," because that may set you up for disappointment.  However, including your hopes (such as: "I hope you have a job you enjoy now")  might be helpful because obviously hopes are not guaranteed, but your future self might find the information interesting.  On a whole, the importance of this message is that you're rooting for your self in the pursuit of your goals--and that, in itself, is incredibly powerful.

Last, but not least, put your note in an envelope and seal it.  For mine, I wrote on the outside of the envelope "Open at the end of May."  Put a future date on your envelope that is appropriate for you, but I would recommend doing at least 2 months and at most 6 months.  Don't lose your note, and don't open it early!  Attach it to your wall calendar under the month you will be opening it, and you won't forget.

Why this is wonderful:  The act of making the note ends up being a pretty good self-esteem boost, or at least an interesting way to  give yourself perspective.  It can help to get out of the rut of over-thinking the future by directly confronting what is worrying you.  This can put you at ease in the present moment.  Aaand, as a BONUS you get to open it down the road, after you've forgotten what you wrote, and feel like a very special person.

Write a Letter

Selfcare Emergency Meter: Pick Me Up!!
Time Commitment: 1 hour

Ok! So, I'm taking advice that I've gotten from my Mom a million times, and I'm sharing it with YOU (because it works...sigh)!  Today, I am working with Worry.  To me, Worry is about control.  Worry is trying to control a situation with our minds without actually doing anything about it.  Some situations don't directly involve us and we cannot make choices for other people, so we Worry, thinking thats all we can do.  Here is something we can do to resolve that Worry.

Procedure:  We are going to write a letter to the person/people we are worried about.  This is not about putting pressure on yourself to write something incredibly inspiring.  This process is about being honest with, and taking care of yourself. 
*There is no requirement saying you even have to send this very personal letter*

Feel free to do a "brainstorm" first.  Write phrases, thoughts, ideas, and feelings down as they relate to your Worry.  Use these to guide your letter.  Beware of tangents by coming back to your feelings in regards to the matter.  Your own feelings, no one else's.  Be honest.  Note how you are feeling in your body, as well as emotion-wise.  (My hands were trembling as I wrote my letter...)

If you are planning on sending your letter, read and re-read the finished product-- how would YOU feel if someone wrote this letter to you?  If your answer is in the ballpark of "judged" or "offended," you may not want to send it.  This is perfectly fine as well, because venting in a letter and not sending it is just as helpful!!!
(and, yes, that is a picture of a "Howler" message from Harry Potter)

When finished writing, let your Worry release.  It is all written down for you to come back to if you choose.  Let that Worry live on the paper; it has a new home, and doesn't need to reside in your body and brain anymore.

Why this is wonderful:  This is a good way to externalize your feelings in word-form.  Externalizing is getting it out!  The process helps to dislodge this Worry and keep it from affecting you in an unhealthy way.  Obviously, it will still affect you in some ways because you CARE :) but it is not your burden to carry. 
Also, if you decide to send your letter, the authenticity and vulnerability you displayed within may just open new, deeper avenues of communication with the person/people you send it to.

PS.  Mine goes out with the mail tomorrow.  Fingers crossed. <3

Write it down-with art this time!

Selfcare Emergency Meter: Overhaul
Time Commitment: 45 min. (or more if you wish)


Hey there friends!  It's time for me to resurface to write another post.  No, I have not forgotten about you.  You are always on my mind :) With school and life and everything in between, this Selfcare Fairy got a little bogged down!  I admit it. That doesn't mean the selfcare stopped flowing though--don't worry about that!  I am back to let you in on some of my Selfcare Adventures from the past month.
The current post is about a project I actually started in the summer, forgot about, then came back to me recently.    This "Overhaul" option is an altered book that has become my visual diary for the things in my life that I simply don't have enough understanding around in order to write about them in words.

Procedure: Start with an old hardback book, preferably one you are not attached to.  Snag one at a thrift store for under a dollar.  Skim through a few pages of the book (anywhere in the book, not necessarily the beginning) and find a phrase that speaks to your mood in the moment.  Most likely the phrase will be completely out of context for the book, and that's the point, you're making your own story in this book.  You may block out the phrase(s) on the page with acrylic paint or collage materials.  I have been using collage materials a lot lately.  (I may or may not have been conned on the phone into subscribing to 9 magazines...) 

It is important to let your automatic reactions guide you--don't think too much.  Pick the phrase, paint color, collage image that jumps out at you first.  Don't overthink.  If you think you're messing up this page, who cares? There are a million other pages in the book.  That's the beauty of this project.  Do what you want to the page.  When you finish painting/collaging, does the page feel done?  Maybe you need to grab a sharpie and write extra words or draw your own pictures.  Maybe you need to rip the page and sew it back together.  Oh the possibilities!  You are done with the page when it feels done.  This may take more than one session, and that's ok!  This project is meant to accompany you for awhile in your life; it will not be done in one sitting.  After you work on your page(s), sit with it.  Reflect on it.  Are there any relevant metaphors popping out to you ("this image means this to me")?  What does it mean to you in the moment?  It can mean anything you want, it's your project, it's your visual diary.  Look back at it the next day, week, month.  Maybe it will mean something different.  You might learn something new about yourself.


Why this is wonderful: It attends to 1 major sense: sight.  This project serves as a way of externalizing confusing parts inside ourselves so we can look at them and examine them.  Using our automatic reactions to dictate the page, we help unconscious material to surface, eventually fostering a deeper understanding of ourselves. Yeah!

Write it down...

Selfcare Emergency Meter: Overhaul
Time Commitment: 30 min (or more if you wish)


Ok folks!  Things have really been kicking up in school and life for me lately, and I have found myself needing many more "Overhaul" options.  As I have mentioned before, there is no single Selfcare technique that magically fixes all stress, so I am constantly hunting for more.  This is an old, simple technique, but it is one that I don't use often enough.  Probably because it is hard to be honest with myself without being harsh.  This takes practice and awareness to give this technique a chance to work magic.


Procedure:  Nope, don't start the music.  This is one case where music can be distracting to what you need to get out of your system.  Grab a pen and your journal, or an old notebook that can serve as one.  Write the date and let your thoughts flow onto the page.  It does not matter what shape the sentences come out in, you are not trying to impress anyone.  The purpose of this is to let thoughts and feelings out, without having to drag another person into the drama (although that is good to do sometimes).  Doodle if you feel the need to doodle.  Address the feelings that are coming up in you, and your bodily responses.  Is your body tight?  Does it feel heavy?  Is your stomach churning?  These are important things to be aware of.  Stress and emotion manifest in your body, pay attention.  Most importantly, be honest with yourself.  But, be careful.  Honesty does not mean: "Wow, I am such a jerk and a horrible person."  It means, "I feel like a jerk right now" and realizing that the feeling does not define your being.  And if you feel like it does define your whole being, be honest about that.  Use awareness.  It's OK to have thoughts, even ones you wish you did not have.  Write what you need to.  Your second guesses, your "crazy thoughts," your hopes, and worries.  Every situation had multiple facets.  It's OK to be excited about something, but also worried or anxious.  Be true to yourself, and be gentle with yourself, and this simple technique could work wonders!


Why this is wonderful: It attends to 1 sense: sight.  This technique might not be pretty all the time, but seeing the words on paper is SO validating.  It makes you feel less crazy for having all these random, conflicting thoughts floating around.  And, it really helps cultivate the relationship you have with yourself!  You can be upset with yourself and still love yourself.  It's good to have open communication with yourself. (OK, I just used the word "yourself" a million times, but I'm leaving it).  This open communication might just help you in your other relationships as well!