Community in the home: a group effort

Selfcare Emergency Meter: Preparatory Measures
Time Commitment: varies, daily 

I was thinking this morning, how in the heck am I still standing (hence the above video) after the overwhelming week I have had so far? What has been nourishing to me as selfcare? Then, it hit me: my roommate and I have been building a sense of community in our home.  It may not sound that important, but it is!  Community is a supportive, interactive environment.  It is where people can be open, aware, and feel safe together.  Community in the home has kept me sane through writing papers I have due in every class this week.


Procedure:  There are multiple ways this can be cultivated.  I will focus on a few ways my roommate, Hannah, and I have been working on that surround food.  Talk about food together.  What foods do you like?  What foods do they like?  What foods do you want to experiment with?  Go grocery shopping together.  What are you buying?  What are they buying?  What can you share?  


Choose a recipe and cook together, or at least be in the same room when the cooking occurs.  Talk, ask questions.  Food usually brings up family stories, both happy and unhappy.  Share your stories.  Listen to their stories without cutting in.  Sit and listen.  Remember what they say.  Let this person be important to you and let yourself be important to them.  With community, a best-friendship is not required.  Respect, patience, and support are required.  This is a group effort.


**If you live alone or want to continue expanding on this model, you may enjoy getting to know your neighbors and creating a larger community.


Why this is wonderful: The examples I provided attend to multiple senses, but these are not why this is wonderful.  Building community helps me to know that I am not alone.  As important as independence is, we cannot do everything on our own.  We need friends, family--relationships--to help prop us up when we are not able to take care of ourselves.  Humans need a support system to survive.  Attending to the one we already have in our home is a great place to start.

Vision Board- more perspective on life

Selfcare Emergency Meter: Pick Me Up/ Preparatory Measures

Time Commitment: 30 min- 1 hr/ 2 min.

My new roommate, Hannah, suggested this technique to me the other day.  It is truly wonderful!  A vision board allows you to hone in on a personal goal, make a collage out of images meaningful to that goal, and then have a tangible reminder of the goal's presence in your life.  It really helps to provide perspective when you might be bogged down by everyday-life stressors.

Procedure: Making the vision board is the Pick Me Up.  Looking at your vision board everyday is the Preparatory Measure.  Now, gather old magazines and other collage materials if you wish.  I actually used Polyvore.com to create my collage on the computer.  I found out about Polyvore from my friend, Chelsea's, wonderful home DIY blog: http://apt205b.blogspot.com/search/label/DIY (Check it out!).  Polyvore's original purpose is to form your own fashion spreads online, but with its plethora of little collage pictures, it works wonderfully for this vision board idea as well.  When creating your vision board, think of a long term (0r not so long term) goal.  My goal is to travel.  I want to get out of the country.  I want to learn about other cultures.  I want to have the opportunity to live abroad.  I collected digital pictures that really exemplified these wants for me.  Choose pictures that have a real "fit" to them.  Do they feel right to you?  Choose pictures that include steps of reaching your goal.  How will you make your goal come true?  Do you really want it to come true?  Note ideas of obstacles to your goal that come up in your mind.  Are they real obstacles? Can you research to find ways around them? All of these extra thoughts give your goal a foot in the door of reality.  It's the idea of being able to manifest what you want in your life, if you want to take the project that far.  When you finish with your vision board, look at it.  Look at it everyday.  Think about it.  Are you taking steps right now toward your goal?  Are you taking steps right now away from your goal?  Your vision board can really help to provide you with a burst of hope and excitement everyday.

Why this is wonderful: It attends to 2 senses: sight and touch.  Seeing your goal everyday helps to remind you of it, and motivate you toward it.  The texture of the vision board itself may not be too interesting, but being able to hold your goal in your hand is quite the empowering experience.  Your goal becomes within your reach, literally.  You are that much closer to it.  The vision board helps pull you out of the little annoyances of the day, and gives you a look at a bigger picture--your bigger picture.

Write it down...

Selfcare Emergency Meter: Overhaul
Time Commitment: 30 min (or more if you wish)


Ok folks!  Things have really been kicking up in school and life for me lately, and I have found myself needing many more "Overhaul" options.  As I have mentioned before, there is no single Selfcare technique that magically fixes all stress, so I am constantly hunting for more.  This is an old, simple technique, but it is one that I don't use often enough.  Probably because it is hard to be honest with myself without being harsh.  This takes practice and awareness to give this technique a chance to work magic.


Procedure:  Nope, don't start the music.  This is one case where music can be distracting to what you need to get out of your system.  Grab a pen and your journal, or an old notebook that can serve as one.  Write the date and let your thoughts flow onto the page.  It does not matter what shape the sentences come out in, you are not trying to impress anyone.  The purpose of this is to let thoughts and feelings out, without having to drag another person into the drama (although that is good to do sometimes).  Doodle if you feel the need to doodle.  Address the feelings that are coming up in you, and your bodily responses.  Is your body tight?  Does it feel heavy?  Is your stomach churning?  These are important things to be aware of.  Stress and emotion manifest in your body, pay attention.  Most importantly, be honest with yourself.  But, be careful.  Honesty does not mean: "Wow, I am such a jerk and a horrible person."  It means, "I feel like a jerk right now" and realizing that the feeling does not define your being.  And if you feel like it does define your whole being, be honest about that.  Use awareness.  It's OK to have thoughts, even ones you wish you did not have.  Write what you need to.  Your second guesses, your "crazy thoughts," your hopes, and worries.  Every situation had multiple facets.  It's OK to be excited about something, but also worried or anxious.  Be true to yourself, and be gentle with yourself, and this simple technique could work wonders!


Why this is wonderful: It attends to 1 sense: sight.  This technique might not be pretty all the time, but seeing the words on paper is SO validating.  It makes you feel less crazy for having all these random, conflicting thoughts floating around.  And, it really helps cultivate the relationship you have with yourself!  You can be upset with yourself and still love yourself.  It's good to have open communication with yourself. (OK, I just used the word "yourself" a million times, but I'm leaving it).  This open communication might just help you in your other relationships as well!

Homemade Parfaits- perfect for a snack attack

Selfcare Emergency Meter: Pick Me Up
Time Commitment: 2 min (preparation)  5-10 min (eat)


Recently, I have remembered my love for vanilla-flavored Stonyfield organic yogurt.  I don't know how I could have forgotten such a thing. It's soooo good.  It is literally the only type of yogurt I like.  It is especially amazing when combined with fruit and, possibly, some good granola.  The combination makes for a delicious breakfast or snack to brighten your day.


Procedure:  Open your wonderful tub of yogurt, and spoon a large dollop into your bowl.  Next comes the fruit. I am currently using frozen blueberries which are delightful, but have used frozen sliced peaches and strawberries in the past.  Fruit may be fresh, and is probably better, but I use frozen so it won't go bad before I finish it.  If  you wish to add granola, go ahead, but make sure you use some with a good, consistent flavor and texture.  I have had some that seemed like there were thorns in it or something--weird.  I like to crumble up an Herbal Oats granola bar into my parfait from time-to-time.  Delicious.
When it comes the time to eat your parfait, whether it is immediately or on a break at work, take your time to enjoy it.  Notice those different flavors and textures dancing magically on your tongue.  Appreciate this gift to yourself.  Let it rejuvenate you.


Why this is wonderful: It attends to 1 main sense: taste.  If you believe this is delicious, it can be a very nourishing snack.  The various flavors and textures are interesting to the palate.  Interest awakens awareness. Awareness arms you for the day ahead!

Organize- in small doses

Selfcare Emergency Meter: Overhaul
Time Commitment: 30 min to 1 hr


Organizing in small doses.  Notice I did not say "clean."  Sometimes I have an aversion to the action of "cleaning," but calling it "organizing" turns it into a likable, rejuvenating experience.  In the end, my mind actually feels more organized and ready to take on the world! (or another pile of homework...)  Check out this interesting little article to understand what I mean: Home Relaxation: Why it Pays to Organize Your Home


Procedure: Turn on a chill, but invigorating album to listen to (optional, but I maintain that music makes almost all experience better!).  I was listening to Blonde Redhead's album "23."  Always good stuff.  Then, light a scented candle.  The candle seems to make the organizing experience more intimate and nourishing.  My current candle of choice is Pumpkin Spice scented, because I am a fanatic for fall!  After the music and candle are in place, now you can begin the organization!  I specified "small doses" because my house can get pretty messy during the semester and I will get overwhelmed and discouraged if I focus on the whole thing at once.  My focus generally revolves around laundry or dishes, although sometimes it might be about de-cluttering certain areas.  Today, I tackled the laundry.  I separated the clean from the dirty, and threw the dirty into the wash.  I put away the random shoes and art supplies that were originally hiding under the clothing on my floor.  I made my bed.  Then, I folded the 2 loads of clean laundry from last week, placing them in little piles on my bed, and put them away.  It's so nice to see large portions of floor in my bedroom!  Rejuvenation achieved!


Why this is wonderful:  It attends to 4 senses: sight, sound, smell, and movement.  The sound and smell aspects make the experience seem more like fun instead of work.   The sight element is really helpful reinforcement when you finish your small dose of organization; you can see your productivity, which is always helpful for me.  The movement part is the most important, and you may not have even realized it!  Being on your feet and walking from room to room or even closet to dresser gets your blood flowing.  It wakes you up and makes you more alert.  So, as your space becomes conducive to work, your mind does, too!