Fiction!

Selfcare Emergency Meter: Pick Me Up
Time Commitment: 45 min.+ increments

Summer break is here--yippee!  You know what that always seems to mean to me? Reading for fun! During the semesters, it's almost unheard of to dip into an engrossing book of fiction even once, due to the large amount of required reading from textbooks and articles I have to do for my classes.  But, now,  <sigh> it's time for fiction.

Procedure:  Oddly enough, it all starts with a book!  Choose one from that dusty stack on your desk that's been waiting months for you to give it some attention.  OR borrow a good one from a friend.  That's my favorite, because then you have someone to talk with about the book during suspenseful parts!  OR check out your public library, those are always fun to explore, and librarians are usually pretty good at helping you find a book that you will enjoy (it is their job!).  OR hit up your local used book stores or thrift shops.  I always find hidden treasures for cheap in those places.

When choosing a book for selfcare, I recommend going for a topic that is not directly relatable to your current situation in life.  For example, I am not going to choose books about student life.  I'm trying to let that subject rest a little in my brain--remember, it's my summer break! Science fiction is something I really enjoy reading for selfcare.
Next, find a comfortable, welcoming place for the reading to take place.  I like to read in the morning, coffee in hand, sitting in a chair in the yard, soaking up sunshine.  Or, snuggled up on the couch, with a super soft blanket, and a kitty curled up on my lap.  Do what works for you--be mindful of each thing contributing to your comfort.  Notice what you're doing.

Lastly, keep your mind open while you're reading.  Open for learning.  I feel like I learn the most about life, culture, relationships, etc. when I am reading science fiction. Just because we are reading fiction, doesn't mean we can't learn from it.  It's all about metaphors. :D

Why this is wonderful:  It attends to your BRAIN!  Reading fiction allows one to escape their current reality for a bit and gain a different perspective on their life at the same time.  Not to mention reading, in general, is good for increasing your vocabulary whilst giving you interesting things to talk about with people.  Success!

*Note: first book pictured (A Separate Reality by Carlos Castaneda) is actually deemed non-fiction.  I included it because it reads like fiction :) 

Know your selfcare--Know your SELF!

Selfcare Emergency Meter: Preparatory Measures
Time Commitment: ~5 min.


Let's think a moment about our current selfcare strategies (like I ever stop thinking about them!).  For example, when you come home from a long day's work, or when you are stressed about a conversation you had with a loved one, what do you do?  Sometimes there is a favorite TV show or a bubble bath in order.  Or a nap.  Or writing in a journal.  Or eating delicious food.  In this post, I want you to notice what you do, and what it does for YOU!


Procedure:  This technique, similar to the Venus Flytrap post, is an ongoing process that invites awareness.  I will give examples, then you can start identifying your own.

Sometimes when I'm stressed I ________ for Selfcare:

*Watch a movie.

      What is my intention?

           1. Bring my spirits up, meanwhile gaining space from and perspective on the stressor
                   OR
           2. Zone out and avoid the stressor
In this example, both intentions are possible at different times, with different stressors.  Neither is the "right" answer.  Just notice what the intention is and do not judge it.  Use awareness (again, not judgment) around using intention #2 too much, because it may actually be increasing your stress levels when used all the time.

*Take a nap.
      What is my intention?
           1. Get some rest so I can start anew.
                   OR
           2. Block the feelings the stress is creating.
As with the last example, both intentions are completely valid, and I definitely take naps for both reasons.  This exercise is about awareness though.  Within myself, I notice when I use intention #2 often, I get kind of zombie-like and disconnected from the world.  And sometimes, I just get sad!  Having an intention to "block the feelings" does not always mean feelings are successfully blocked.

*Clean my house.
       What is my intention?
           1. Create space and organization, so I can face my stressors.
                  OR
           2. Procrastinate from facing my stressors by being way more detail-oriented than usual.
You might be noticing a trend in these examples and intentions.  All of these are authentic examples from my everyday life.  I like to take note of my intentions because they can really affect the quality of stress relief I gain from my selfcare methods.  And it's good to know!

Why this is wonderful:  This is another post that is helpful for cultivating awareness.  Awareness is key for quality selfcare!  Something that works for someone else, may not always work in the same way for you.  Know your selfcare and know your SELF :)

Venus Flytrap- for pesky automatic thoughts

Selfcare Emergency Meter: Pick Me Up
Time Commitment: varies, can be done while multi-tasking

So I have been dealing with the most unspeakable of all emotions lately--ANGER! Grr!  Usually when I am angry, I suppress it.  Not healthy!  Suppressing anger just pushes me to EXPLODE at things that might seem insignificant to most--but it's the darn straw that broke the camel's back.  But, as I said-- Not healthy!  Recently, I have been experimenting with not suppressing my anger.  I have been looking in its face and examining it.  I have discovered that part of my own anger is cultivated by my own negative automatic thoughts.  Hence, this wonderful blog post.


Procedure:  This technique is an ongoing process.  You will start with a "baby" mental Venus Flytrap, and eventually it will grow to a large and powerful Venus Flytrap that few negative automatic thoughts will get past.  I will instruct you as to how to get this baby growin!  First, notice when you are feeling an angry (or sad) emotion.  Anger and sadness are actually closely related; usually there is some sadness buried under anger.  Anyway, notice the emotion and acknowledge it.  Think or say aloud (very specifically): I am angry (or sad). This may sound super simple, but it isn't all the time.  Many times, I do not like to admit that I have emotions, that maybe admitting them would make me weak. Ultimately, everyone has a full range of emotions.  They just do.  And acknowledging them helps one to understand them, instead of just acting crazy without knowing why. :)  Ok, next, sit with that emotion.  Sitting with the emotion involves noticing what thoughts and memories automatically pop up when acknowledging the emotion.  Some of my negative (not all the thoughts that pop up are negative) automatic thoughts when I am angry are: I am overreacting.  I shouldn't care. I'm being stupid. Rarararara, and so on and so on.  There are tons of these thoughts.  With noticing these, you are exercising your Venus Flytrap and catch these thoughts.  Catching the thoughts allows you to see the choice in accepting them as truth (and defining yourself with that thought...) or reevaluating the situation.  For example: I am overreacting.  Ask, "Well, am I overreacting??"  Usually I find that actually my anger is valid, my feelings were hurt in this way or that, or the situation on the surface tapped into a deeper pattern of situations, and it is okay for me to be angry.


Why this is wonderful: Well, this is an internal process and actually doesn't involve external senses.  BUT, it is fantastic because you are cultivating AWARENESS.  And creating a new mental friend at the same time :)  Allies within ourselves can be hard to come by at times, what with all of our self-consciousness and self-judgment--this little friend supports us in our sanity by giving perspective and compassion to those critical pieces of ourselves, which, in turn, helps us keep it together! (This is a good thing...)

Write it down-with art this time!

Selfcare Emergency Meter: Overhaul
Time Commitment: 45 min. (or more if you wish)


Hey there friends!  It's time for me to resurface to write another post.  No, I have not forgotten about you.  You are always on my mind :) With school and life and everything in between, this Selfcare Fairy got a little bogged down!  I admit it. That doesn't mean the selfcare stopped flowing though--don't worry about that!  I am back to let you in on some of my Selfcare Adventures from the past month.
The current post is about a project I actually started in the summer, forgot about, then came back to me recently.    This "Overhaul" option is an altered book that has become my visual diary for the things in my life that I simply don't have enough understanding around in order to write about them in words.

Procedure: Start with an old hardback book, preferably one you are not attached to.  Snag one at a thrift store for under a dollar.  Skim through a few pages of the book (anywhere in the book, not necessarily the beginning) and find a phrase that speaks to your mood in the moment.  Most likely the phrase will be completely out of context for the book, and that's the point, you're making your own story in this book.  You may block out the phrase(s) on the page with acrylic paint or collage materials.  I have been using collage materials a lot lately.  (I may or may not have been conned on the phone into subscribing to 9 magazines...) 

It is important to let your automatic reactions guide you--don't think too much.  Pick the phrase, paint color, collage image that jumps out at you first.  Don't overthink.  If you think you're messing up this page, who cares? There are a million other pages in the book.  That's the beauty of this project.  Do what you want to the page.  When you finish painting/collaging, does the page feel done?  Maybe you need to grab a sharpie and write extra words or draw your own pictures.  Maybe you need to rip the page and sew it back together.  Oh the possibilities!  You are done with the page when it feels done.  This may take more than one session, and that's ok!  This project is meant to accompany you for awhile in your life; it will not be done in one sitting.  After you work on your page(s), sit with it.  Reflect on it.  Are there any relevant metaphors popping out to you ("this image means this to me")?  What does it mean to you in the moment?  It can mean anything you want, it's your project, it's your visual diary.  Look back at it the next day, week, month.  Maybe it will mean something different.  You might learn something new about yourself.


Why this is wonderful: It attends to 1 major sense: sight.  This project serves as a way of externalizing confusing parts inside ourselves so we can look at them and examine them.  Using our automatic reactions to dictate the page, we help unconscious material to surface, eventually fostering a deeper understanding of ourselves. Yeah!

Community in the home: a group effort

Selfcare Emergency Meter: Preparatory Measures
Time Commitment: varies, daily 

I was thinking this morning, how in the heck am I still standing (hence the above video) after the overwhelming week I have had so far? What has been nourishing to me as selfcare? Then, it hit me: my roommate and I have been building a sense of community in our home.  It may not sound that important, but it is!  Community is a supportive, interactive environment.  It is where people can be open, aware, and feel safe together.  Community in the home has kept me sane through writing papers I have due in every class this week.


Procedure:  There are multiple ways this can be cultivated.  I will focus on a few ways my roommate, Hannah, and I have been working on that surround food.  Talk about food together.  What foods do you like?  What foods do they like?  What foods do you want to experiment with?  Go grocery shopping together.  What are you buying?  What are they buying?  What can you share?  


Choose a recipe and cook together, or at least be in the same room when the cooking occurs.  Talk, ask questions.  Food usually brings up family stories, both happy and unhappy.  Share your stories.  Listen to their stories without cutting in.  Sit and listen.  Remember what they say.  Let this person be important to you and let yourself be important to them.  With community, a best-friendship is not required.  Respect, patience, and support are required.  This is a group effort.


**If you live alone or want to continue expanding on this model, you may enjoy getting to know your neighbors and creating a larger community.


Why this is wonderful: The examples I provided attend to multiple senses, but these are not why this is wonderful.  Building community helps me to know that I am not alone.  As important as independence is, we cannot do everything on our own.  We need friends, family--relationships--to help prop us up when we are not able to take care of ourselves.  Humans need a support system to survive.  Attending to the one we already have in our home is a great place to start.

Vision Board- more perspective on life

Selfcare Emergency Meter: Pick Me Up/ Preparatory Measures

Time Commitment: 30 min- 1 hr/ 2 min.

My new roommate, Hannah, suggested this technique to me the other day.  It is truly wonderful!  A vision board allows you to hone in on a personal goal, make a collage out of images meaningful to that goal, and then have a tangible reminder of the goal's presence in your life.  It really helps to provide perspective when you might be bogged down by everyday-life stressors.

Procedure: Making the vision board is the Pick Me Up.  Looking at your vision board everyday is the Preparatory Measure.  Now, gather old magazines and other collage materials if you wish.  I actually used Polyvore.com to create my collage on the computer.  I found out about Polyvore from my friend, Chelsea's, wonderful home DIY blog: http://apt205b.blogspot.com/search/label/DIY (Check it out!).  Polyvore's original purpose is to form your own fashion spreads online, but with its plethora of little collage pictures, it works wonderfully for this vision board idea as well.  When creating your vision board, think of a long term (0r not so long term) goal.  My goal is to travel.  I want to get out of the country.  I want to learn about other cultures.  I want to have the opportunity to live abroad.  I collected digital pictures that really exemplified these wants for me.  Choose pictures that have a real "fit" to them.  Do they feel right to you?  Choose pictures that include steps of reaching your goal.  How will you make your goal come true?  Do you really want it to come true?  Note ideas of obstacles to your goal that come up in your mind.  Are they real obstacles? Can you research to find ways around them? All of these extra thoughts give your goal a foot in the door of reality.  It's the idea of being able to manifest what you want in your life, if you want to take the project that far.  When you finish with your vision board, look at it.  Look at it everyday.  Think about it.  Are you taking steps right now toward your goal?  Are you taking steps right now away from your goal?  Your vision board can really help to provide you with a burst of hope and excitement everyday.

Why this is wonderful: It attends to 2 senses: sight and touch.  Seeing your goal everyday helps to remind you of it, and motivate you toward it.  The texture of the vision board itself may not be too interesting, but being able to hold your goal in your hand is quite the empowering experience.  Your goal becomes within your reach, literally.  You are that much closer to it.  The vision board helps pull you out of the little annoyances of the day, and gives you a look at a bigger picture--your bigger picture.

Write it down...

Selfcare Emergency Meter: Overhaul
Time Commitment: 30 min (or more if you wish)


Ok folks!  Things have really been kicking up in school and life for me lately, and I have found myself needing many more "Overhaul" options.  As I have mentioned before, there is no single Selfcare technique that magically fixes all stress, so I am constantly hunting for more.  This is an old, simple technique, but it is one that I don't use often enough.  Probably because it is hard to be honest with myself without being harsh.  This takes practice and awareness to give this technique a chance to work magic.


Procedure:  Nope, don't start the music.  This is one case where music can be distracting to what you need to get out of your system.  Grab a pen and your journal, or an old notebook that can serve as one.  Write the date and let your thoughts flow onto the page.  It does not matter what shape the sentences come out in, you are not trying to impress anyone.  The purpose of this is to let thoughts and feelings out, without having to drag another person into the drama (although that is good to do sometimes).  Doodle if you feel the need to doodle.  Address the feelings that are coming up in you, and your bodily responses.  Is your body tight?  Does it feel heavy?  Is your stomach churning?  These are important things to be aware of.  Stress and emotion manifest in your body, pay attention.  Most importantly, be honest with yourself.  But, be careful.  Honesty does not mean: "Wow, I am such a jerk and a horrible person."  It means, "I feel like a jerk right now" and realizing that the feeling does not define your being.  And if you feel like it does define your whole being, be honest about that.  Use awareness.  It's OK to have thoughts, even ones you wish you did not have.  Write what you need to.  Your second guesses, your "crazy thoughts," your hopes, and worries.  Every situation had multiple facets.  It's OK to be excited about something, but also worried or anxious.  Be true to yourself, and be gentle with yourself, and this simple technique could work wonders!


Why this is wonderful: It attends to 1 sense: sight.  This technique might not be pretty all the time, but seeing the words on paper is SO validating.  It makes you feel less crazy for having all these random, conflicting thoughts floating around.  And, it really helps cultivate the relationship you have with yourself!  You can be upset with yourself and still love yourself.  It's good to have open communication with yourself. (OK, I just used the word "yourself" a million times, but I'm leaving it).  This open communication might just help you in your other relationships as well!